Saturday, 8 October 2011

A prisoner in my own room

She was after me. As I lay in my room last night, the realisation trickled icily down my spine.
She wanted to destroy me, torture me, devour me limb from limb. I kept dead still. I could feel her eyes on me, that searing stare; there was no escape. No matter how hard I try to hide; she’s always watching. No matter how much I ignore her; she’s always waiting. No matter what I do, Ursula my room spider is always there.

It’s no joke, this isn’t your usual cliché ‘spiders are creepy’ situation- I despise Ursula. She’s got me trapped; a hopeless victim in her web of fear, spinning me into a crumbling, psychotic mess.
I’m a prisoner in my own room.

Worse yet, Ursula times her visits meticulously, inflicting her torment at only the most inconvenient of times. Last night, she decided, it was time for a visit.
It was ; I was essayed out and needed sleep. My eyes were aching and my bed was calling. As I sank into the gentle grooves of my mattress and shimmied down into the soothing embrace of sleep- there she was. The epitome of all that is wrong with the world condensed into one devilishly small, dark mass; Ursula.

With a wriggle of her ovular chest and jerk of her prickly legs, she crept closer; stopping directly above me on the ceiling. Hopes of sleep had now dissipated and I sat, frozen, staring upwards into the depths of hell itself.
 My nightmare had begun.

 “Spiders stop and freeze because they are just as scared as you are” What a dirty lie. Ursula stops so she can look into my soul.
Arched and menacing, she pierced through me with those eight, dark spherical abysses, teasing out all of my fear and feeding her ego. As my body jittered in her psychological throttle, I’m telling you, I saw her smile.

Knowing I needed sleep and a stare off with a spider was a little ridiculous, I decided there was only one escape route; through darkness. With one mighty, brave effort I clenched my eyes shut, broke away from her eye web and plunged into darkness. At first it eased me.  Then, she crawled back into my mind. I thought of her suspended by my face, swinging into my mouth and laying her spider eggs under my tongue. Or perhaps Ursula was plotting? Recruiting all the other spiders in the room to launch an attack. It was too much- thoughts of a dense spider army covering my ceiling and swarming towards me, forced me to open my eyes. What I saw was ten times worse. On the ceiling above me there was nothing; Ursula had moved.

I was sure I could hear her malicious chortling echoing around the room; her game had just begun. I grabbed for my pillow and duvet.  Her superior sniggering encased my bedroom as I cowardly slipped downstairs to the sofa.  Ursula had won, again.