Tuesday, 31 August 2010

Nocturnal Bliss...

For some, the Summer holiday means sunshine, ice creams and sandcastles, for others it means relaxing, socializing and catching up with your television shows but for me, nothing says summer holidays like switching to nocturnal living.
                           I mean, here in London the sun tends to make very rare appearances, leaving us with the expected August showers. Beautiful,golden people grinning in sunny pictures? Try drenched rats shivering in the grey. What I've found though, is that you can sulk away and complain about the horrific weather or you can adapt and work out how to really make the most of your Summer.
                           You see, the real magic, the real deal lies deep within  the realms of the night. I'm talking about when the parents have drifted off to sleep, darkness has wrapped herself around the house and all that can be heard is the gentle,rhythmic ticking of the clocks and mellow hum of the electronic devices. You see here, right at this point you have it all. You can curl up and watch a movie, the atmosphere enhanced as the silent house watches with you. You can indulge in late night snacks, everything tasting just that little bit sweeter and naughtier. You can listen at the windows for the night life that crawls by or the changing songs of the early morning birds. You can even get online and chat to other nocturnal beings, all feeling more excited and chatty at the prospect of being up and awake in a still and sleeping world. This, is Summer.
                                              So forget winging about the weather, groaning about the lack of entertainment or absence of friends, because August brags something much more enchanting and brilliant-just as long as you stay awake to find it.

Saturday, 28 August 2010

The dad shop

This Summer I have been ridiculously greedy. As I've been going out a lot I always seem to find myself eating or pigging out on junk food and ramming popcorn and slushies in my mouth at the cinema. So, on Thursday night (after a particularly greedy surge while seeing SALT) i decided that when I woke up the next morning it was time for healthy eating. Bless me, I actually thought i could do it-but how wrong I was.

So I woke up on Friday morning ,feeling refreshed and ready to begin my healthy day-but then disaster struck. As I ambled into the kitchen, I found my dad unloading the food from his Tesco shop earlier that morning.Now,  just to make it clear, sending my dad shopping IS NOT CLEVER!. You see, when my dad shops he doesn't look for fruit,meals and balance he loads the trolley full of , to put it succinctly, lard. The result of the shop always concludes in the same scolding by mum-you think he'd learn. £85 spent- 1 decent meal, classic dad. I mean don't get me wrong, when I'm in the pigging out mood it's brilliant, but when I'm not -it's a different story.

 So, as  gazed around the kitchen i saw cookies stacked up on the counter, muffins galore, chocolate multi-packs, Galaxy mousses, huge tubs of ice cream, flapjacks,caramel digestives and uncountable amounts more. Everywhere i looked, all i could see was delicious fatty foods, just when i really didn't want to see them. Typical. So i rapidly opened the cereal cupboard for an attempt at a normal breakfast. Did i find it? No, of course not,it's dad. Instead i see Coco pops, Honey waffles, Frosties and cookie crisp. Resisting ripping open the pack and pouring the carbs into my mouth was becoming a challenge now. So I darted to the fridge to grab a drink,something fresh or fruity, but oh no. Instead the fridge was lined with chocolate milk, Pepsi and vanilla smoothies. My taste buds were now screeching, mouth tingling and belly growling impatiently. So in one last desperate attempt to stick to my healthy plan- I sprung open the bread-bin to not find nutritious wholesome bread, but sugar buns, marble cake and banana loaf. That was the final straw and my body took over from there.

I don't remember much after that,  just opening my eyes to find myself sprawled out on the sofa and smelling of chocolate. There were biscuit crumbs on my shirt, a muffin wrapper at my side and a 'licked clean' Galaxy mousse cup at my feet, next to a peculiarly empty vanilla smoothie carton. Oops!

Thursday, 26 August 2010

When you know it's time for bed

You can't control it, fatigue-no matter how hard you try. It floods your system,an unstoppable wave of collapse,gradually closing down all parts of your body. That dull,heavy ache of the bones, numbing of the legs and sudden weight of the head. And then the eyes. They throb away, weak and stinging. Sharp needles of pain lunge at your eyelids-forcing them shut. Then there's that blissful darkness-soft and comforting,how you long to feel. But you need to work on,climb out of this serenity,this haven. So you prize those eyes open, the sudden burn of the light, piercing you deep-unbearable. The words on the screen in front of you become blurred-a fumble of uncomfortable letters. Then the yawn. That gaseous tsunami that erupts from within you-powerful and hot. Your body is screaming at you,warning you to stop and rest. Perhaps it's time to obey the body. Goodnight.

Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Waiter's terrible timing...

While dining out yesterday, I found my evening was spoiled, obliterated in fact. Oh, but it wasn't the food, the area I was seated ,the company I was with  or anything like that, oh no, it was the waiter constantly picking the most inappropriate moment to interrupt me!

 Honestly though, this is always happening - my dinners out are often ruined by this issue.
Oh but it's no pressing issue-it's just that simple infuriating phrase of  "Is everything OK here?"

Yes, it was blimming OK, until you came!
It's also bound to be at that moment where you have sauce dripping from your lips, cheeks swollen with food and as you attempt to force a smile to assure them you are in fact OK-your teeth,smothered with food and your cheeks (crimson with embarrassment)- forms this monstrous appearance.
The waiter now notices his ill timing and is also embarrassed, so you are both now trapped,sinking deeper into this awkward abyss

It's just so aggravating, like being on the loo and someone just waltzing in when you are quite clearly 'preoccupied'

What's the harm in judging the situation and picking a more appropriate moment? You see I have developed a theory. I reckon they time it purposefully, probably wagering with fellow colleagues to  find the most awkward moment- and then they POUNCE. Feeding off our embarrassment.
You could argue "But it's their job to ask!". Well is embarrassing customers part of that job requirement?!  I think not. 

Monday, 23 August 2010

Heavenly Hideout...

I found out today that going shopping with your brother is tough work. In fact, it's not just brothers-it's any male. The issue is that we don't share the same shopping mindset.With me it's a look at everything, pick my favorite items,consider pricing and perhaps cheaper pricing in nearby stores,think of clothes it will go with  and think of occasions to wear it.I love wading through rails to find those items you truly love and fully immersing myself in the shopping experience-the colors,the layout and hell, even the song that's playing in the store! My brother, however, takes the 'see what you like then buy it' approach. Nifty yes-but infuriating for me. We would split up to the male and female clothes sections in a shop and within minutes (while i'm prancing about by a dress rail) he is back, finshed looking and trying to hurry me up! It's just exasperating.

However, it was during this incessant hurrying i learned to appreciate the oasis that lies within each shop,that holds out that saving hand to female shoppers everywhere. the changing rooms. It.is.incredible. Fleeing my brother's nagging i found them, the perfect escape.Welcomed by a smiling assistant, i walked down a shimmering hall of rooms into my own,private cubicle.No nagging,no pressure-just a room, all for me and my clothes. So i prance around in the mirror, checking the clothes from every angle,mixing and matching with other items and soaking up the atmosphere.This is how shopping should be.This sweet haven has been under appreciated  and taken for granted for far too long . Ladies, nothing compares to the sweet serenity that lies beyond it's walls .

So, the next time you're shopping, he's nagging you to speed up and you're feeling that pressure to rush- STOP. Don't give in , just scan for that angelic sign. Once you spot it -run. run as fast as you can, grab as much as you can and get.into.that.changing room! Because I'll tell you one thing-no matter where you are, who you are or what you're doing- you'll always be safe there.

Saturday, 21 August 2010

The free time loop

Day after day we long for it, dream of it. So rare, so delicate -once found it must be cherished. You know what I'm rambling about,the words are sitting serenely on your tongue. Free time. Those precious golden snippets of time you have completely and utterly free. Sandwiched between busy work schedules, arrangements and the unremitting hustle and bustle that life suffocates us with-you find these moments, these jewels. I was fortunate enough to find one yesterday-a whole day to myself ,a whole day to unwind,relax and forget the day to day toil. So perfect, so sublime,yet...yet so useless.
                                        I had awaited this time for so long- yet i had no idea what to do with it. I was baffled by this new power. I began with a bit of telly, a little reading-but then what? How should i spend such priceless time? As i sat wallowing in confusion, the next devious emotion began it's crawl into my mind,hacking away and spoiling everything. Boredom. This subtle bitterness spread and before i knew it i was desperate to occupy myself and prevent this tedious wave.
                                           As a result, i sought work and then...then back i was. Back to the strain and perpetual labour that i had so desperately tried to escape from. I was once again yearning for those jewels of  free time, completely forgetting the uselessness they bear.