Sunday, 10 October 2010

The walk of shame.

Ever wondered what it's like to walk death row? Feel that plunge of darkness shroud you, that unbearable rip at your insides? Sense the furious eyes burn through you, the weight of the world crush you, as you drag each trembling leg forward,step by step, wading in the bitter shame and embarrassment that clings to your shriveling body? The feelings and emotions that one must go through, seems almost unfathomable. However, those fascinated by the concept will be thrilled to hear that you can experience such a walk yourself, whenever you want to, simply by traveling on the bus.

We've all walked the 'walk of shame', and those who haven't should consider themselves lucky.Those dreaded steps from boarding a bus to finding your seat cannot be avoided, but only endured. I took those steps today and I can still feel the sting. So, as I beep my oyster card and head down the bus for a seat, I can sense the wave of judgment that hits me.A wall of emotionless faces,headphones plugged into their ears, yet with those intense glares fixed upon me- scalding and sly. They consider my every movement and my every garment,they don't miss a thing. It's like showing fresh meat to a pride of ravenous lions. This walk, from boarding to sitting, must be done as quickly as possible. This walk must be done smoothly and without offense.But remember, above all else,this walk must never be done with eye contact. Never make eye contact with the lions.

The most ridiculous thing is, as soon as you find your seat ,  the crimson in your cheeks fades away and that soft rush of relief floods over you, you're part of the pride.You've become a lion, awaiting new meat to devour with your judgment.So as the bus stops and the new passengers climb in , it's now your turn to glare intensely at them and inspect your prey.

So you may think this all a bit loony,just me rambling off on an absurd tangent (which is very true), but in a way, I may have helped you. If you're someone who travels by bus and is sick to death of the mundane atmosphere that encases you,next time you're there- you just think of my 'pride' concept. Believe me, it'll make the journey just that little bit more interesting and you may even manage a half smile. I like to think I do my bit to help in the world...

1 comment:

  1. "Never make eye contact with the lions."

    You're hilarious!