Housephone Harressment

I'm a victim of bullying.

Wow, I've admitted it; about time too.

 It's been long overdue.

I'm a trembling, taunted mess who faces aggression on  a daily basis.

Oh but the perpetrator doesn't leave physical evidence... they're much more sly and calculating than that. Prying on me when weak,  a devious  shadow that's always watching me.

Enough is enough... it's time to name and shame...reveal my torturer...

Please, somebody spare me from...

MY HOUSE PHONE.

No no no, don't you laugh or turn away thinking this is some petty rant.

I NEED HELP.

 I can't walk past my house phone without physically wincing.

Being at home is about relaxing. It's about unwinding ...leaving work and distractions outside.

But then this peace is obliterated. 

There I am, having some 'me time' ,settling in to some din dins in front of the telly and then BAM.

 It's all ruined.

 I'm dragged out of my serenity by the high pitched screeeeech of the bully...

TRRRING-TRRRING!  

TRRRING-TRRRING!   

TRRRING-TRRRING!

The screeching goes on and on , screaming into my ears until nothing can be thought about except picking up the phone. So I succumb- and get up to obey  the bully.

Oh, but as I pick it up off the hook...it decides NOW is the time to be silent. It decides it's way more fun to watch me squirm and sigh when I just miss the last ring. Brilliant.

But the bully's just getting started.

It waits silently until I'm all the way back to my seat, comfortable and content.

It waits; like a ravenous lion fixated on it's prey.

It waits until that perfect moment,where I've reached complete and utter relaxation. Then, only then, it POUNCES with it's infuriating shriek...

TRRRRRRRING- TRRRRRRING!!! 

TRRRRRRRING -TRRRRRRING!!!

Again I'm forced out of my comfort zone -  but this time I'm desperate .

 I run to the phone,in an attempt to reach it in time. But no, oh no, that would be too easy.

Again it cuts off as I get there.  It's silently sniggering at me ... taunting me with it's malicious games.

Then there's the fun it has when you're mid conversation. It listens in,cunningly waiting until the most crucial moment in the chatter...and then, well then it just cuts off. Dead. Just like that.

This, is annoying enough, but to push us that little bit further, dig just that little bit deeper, the daemonic device doesn't let us know it's cut off.

Too many times have I waffled on with a story,describing the ins and outs,the intricate details, pouring out an emotional essay -to find that there is no one listening at the other end.

I'm sick to death of this abuse.

I hate feeling threatened in my own home.

I want protection from this electronic evil which terrorizes me with it's tricks.

Please, somebody, help me escape this

house-phone harassment.