Sunday, 19 September 2010

Takeaway Terror

A takeaway is one of life's most treasured gifts. The idea of ordering yummy foods all precooked and ready and having them brought to your door to be eaten however you like, in the comfort of your own home. It all sounds faultless, brilliant, divine-that is, if you get the  food you bloody ordered.

On too many occasions has my takeaway experience been utterly obliterated by not actually getting what I want. I'm all set,drink on the side, plate and cutlery at the ready,Saturday night TV rearing to go and the sofa bum mould is beckoning me to sit down and begin tucking in to the bliss in the brown bag . A perfect scenario, until i realize, what i want isn't there. I check again (several times in fact) but no, it's nowhere to be seen. I panic,I fumble, I frown. It's no use, sound the alarms- a meal is missing.

Now, however small what I am missing is, I feel cheated. It could be a few pathetic poppadoms, but I just can't let it slide. My body won't let me.  My dinner won't quite be the same if i try to ignore the problem- it's like a piece is missing, my taste buds are sickened and appalled with the absence of the dish. The only option is to ring up and complain. This, for me, means further pain. I mean it's bad enough ,coping with the sadness and dissatisfaction that engulfs me without my dish, but now i must be overridden with guilt as i moan to the restaurant workers. 

Thing is, after all the awkwardness on the phone there's also that  excruciating moment where the new , correct food changes hands, both of you wallowing in embarrassment. Having to look them in the eye after all your moaning and them into yours after their failure to do their job properly. Shudders. And while this whole catastrophe has unfolded, your other food has gone cold, the TV show has raced ahead (and you just know you've missed the best bits!) and the bum mould on the sofa that before beckoned, has now risen to a mere,worthless crumple. Brilliant.


  1. This post is hilarious! And So. Dang. True. When your expecting to eat what you ordered and then get something else, there's just no way it'll taste as good. It's almost like our minds prep our taste buds for what we order.

    My favorite part: "if you get the food you bloody ordered." :D ... maybe it's just because you said 'bloody'. I've always wanted to integrate that term into my vocabulary but most Americans can't pull it off... maybe one day ^_~

  2. Haha, I think you're on to something there with our mind prepping our taste buds.
    Mind you , when you get what you ordered,it's divine isn't it?

    And hey, I've noticed many Americans seem to like the 'bloody' phrase..maybe you should be the first to seep it into the US? haha :)!
    I've been watching crazy amaounts of 'friends' so love the way they all want to say it !
    Take care xx