Willy Nilly Walkers.

Right foot.........................left foot...............................right foot...........................slowly turn head and gaze in shop window.........................left foot.....................stop and switch shopping bag to other hand.............................turn head to watch swarm of people on your left.........'Is that Clara?, oo yes I think it is'..........stop to examine closer.......'no,it's not Clara'...................right foot.................make comment to companion that walks with you...................left foot.................

THIS. MUST. STOP.

It's people like this that are all that is wrong with the world. It's people like this that make life just that little bit more aggravating. It's people like this that make my blood boil, my head throb and my teeth grind. You know who I mean, I can hear your insides churning too, just at the thought of them...Lord save us from the WILLY-NILLY WALKERS.

I'm talking about those people in today's fast paced society, who feel it appropriate to walk as painfully slowly as possible down busy streets and just get in the way. They clog up the pathways, induce further stress to the dashers around them and worst of all, they are completely oblivious to the mayhem they cause. They need to be removed, cast out of society all together, out of the way.

Stupidly, this weekend while speed shopping around Brent Cross ,i thought I'd find a method to avoid the irritation. I thought I could find away around the aggravating amblers and maintain a cool , clear head. And, like many of my experiments, it failed. Though, to take a drink from the glass half full,  it does provide an entertaining conversational piece at the dinner table.

So I'm rushing. I need to get the earring shop on the other end of the centre within 3 minutes, pay in 2 mins and hit the Boots downstairs before a mad dash, competing against the ticket warden to get to mum's car first. The ticket expires in 12 minutes. The race is on.
So, adrenaline pumping, heart thumping I begin to slide in and out of people and dart up the congested shopping parade.But then no, oh no, there it is. Holding everything up, nonchalantly swaying through the shopping crowds, leaving hoards of consumer traffic and angered shoppers bibbing with their furious eyes.Yes, it was none other than a Willy Nilly Walker.
Time racing, I impulsively decided I was having none of it . It was time to push on, liberate myself and take that stress relieving stride through the crowds and not crumble to the Willy Nilly. Shoulders back, spine straight and eyes fixed on the earring shop- the stride began. I surged through the crowds, feet darting meticulously through the masses, eyes looking at me in awe, marveling at my boldness. Shops blurred as I drilled on, like a spider in a snail's race-boy did it feel good.

It was in fact a little too good to be true. Head in the clouds, all of a sudden my legs hit an obstacle and I was quickly brought out of my daze and back down to the ground. Literally. I tumbled, bags flailing out in all directions, and went head first into a nut stand. The obstacle I'd hit was in  fact a mere toddler who now thought it appropriate to bawl hysterically and point at the crimson faced me, sitting sheepishly in a pool of cashew nuts.

 And do you know what was the worst thing about it all? Not the clear up of nuts off the floor in front of the hundreds of judging eyes or the hefty parking ticket that I ended up presenting to my mum, but it was that while in the process of clearing up my mess I caught a glance of the Willy Nilly Walker who, in the meantime, had made it as far as the earring shop.